Isn't it interesting to have your child's friends stay over? I mean, a "sleep over". Remember when it was called a "slumber party" but no one slumbered?
What I've noticed is rules tend to fly out the window. Unless, one gets lucky and the child listens. More often then not though, out the window rules go. One child we recently had over not only didn't listen she/he didn't drink. Only ate a bare minimum. I was beginning to worry. I don't even know if this child used our bathroom. Great. Now I have that to vex me. I realize when at someone else's house it's hard to concentrate on eating. Kids are too excited to play with different stuff and spend time with their friends. But, do they never get hungry? Maybe they're just sneaking food when we aren't looking. Or when we are finally unconscious in our beds.
We want kids to have fun as guests in our homes. It's even nice to be known as the "Fun Mom or Dad". But when does a parent put down their foot? The obvious of course is bodily harm. Bullying is probably number two. Slamming of doors should be number three but may not make the cut every time. Usually I have found if I stand firm in our rules-shutting aforementioned window before havoc strikes-things go much smoother. Not always easier, but smoother. I also pick my battles and try to refrain from being "Frau Bethany".
Another interesting item I have learned is to have an extra activity on hand. This works well in case the familiar mantra of "What do you want to do? I don't know. What do you want to do?" surfaces. Sometimes just making a guest aware of the choices of activities is a good idea. Or asking the guest in question what they like to do. I usually go the craft route. "Do you like to paint?" Is a good opener. "Would you rather make something with clay/play doh" is helpful too.
I wonder if God ever feels this way? As a guest who is always welcome in our home does He witness His rules flying out the window? Does He worry about being "Fun Dad?" What does He feel if He hears from us "I dunno what I want to do today" when He has so clearly given us that answer but we don't listen?
He gently reminds us what it is we are looking for. And that would be Him. No yelling, no excuses. Just a reminder. His rules, His plans. Not always fun but always right. Keeping us safe and loving us no matter what we don't eat or try to fly over.

The Dearest of Friends

Friends. They come and they go, don't they? It surprises me what passes for friendship sometimes. Especially when friends go. My Mother once told me I'd only have a few really good friends in life. Once again I'm admitting she was correct. Scary.
One of my friends from third grade to present sent me an email about some people are friends for a season or for a reason, etc. It totally freaked me out! I hurriedly emailed her back to apologize for being a lazy correspondent but assured her I thought of her every day and to please not dump me as a friend. Her reply? Laughter! "Silly," she wrote, "it's just a poem. I'd never dump you. You are indeed a forever friend." Thank goodness! Or is it just because I know alot of dirt on her? Which is another thought to ponder. We as friends are huge secret keepers. And our friends are ours in return. And, let's face it, we know the good keepers of our inmost beings and the poor ones. Be a good keeper.
Nobody really has "the dirt" on anyone. Instead, I prefer to think of it this way. We have Jesus. The ultimate laundry guy. We're made new in Him. White as snow. He's also the best friend we can ever know. We've all called a friend really needing to talk when they just don't have the time. It's happened to us too. We hate to let people down but its reality. Funny how it never happens with Jesus. He's already there. He's never busy. And here is His one-of-a-kind friend factor...He already knows what we need before we say a word. Another bonus? After we pour out our hearts to Him, we feel so much better it amazes us again and again. Another? He keeps all our secrets and forgives us over and over.
I have had girlfriends turn on me. It happened when I was a child, a teen and an adult woman. I have wept over them and prayed for them. It hurts as much when it occurs to a child as it does to an adult. I've learned to be careful. Most importantly, I've learned when Jesus is my best friend, everything and everyone else falls into place. Friendship is a gift from God. Tend yours well. Along with your best buddy, they will all flourish.

Parents'-the Ultimate Embarassment

It is amazing to me what embarasses our kids these days. When I was a kid, it was black socks with sandals. Or, in my Dad's case, he'd mow the grass in his very own creation: cut-offs he himself cut off that looked more like gauchos then shorts, a headband, and cowboy boots. Then, he added a red and white checkered shirt for a trip to town. He never could understand why we were all really busy when he asked if we wanted to go to town with him. Thank God we lived in the country. As for my Mom she'd fix my hair or clothes in public. Or, comment on the dark circles under my eyes in front of really cool people. My mother-in-law once commented on my husband's toenail fungus to me. We were dating then and I could tell he wanted to crawl in the deepest hole available. I just hugged him and told him that only made him more real to me. Maybe that's one of the many reasons I married him-he was the real deal.
I don't know what my husband does to embarass my kids. They seem to think he's pretty groovey. As for me, today I played air guitar to a really cool Genesis song with my golf club while miniature golfing. My kids couldn't believe it. I heard stuff like, "Mom, please stop. You are really embarassing." My Mom was along and thought that the whole situation was hilarious. I thought I was being pretty cool to even think of it. My husband just shook his head.
One parent we never have to be embarassed about is God. Have you ever seen a sunset? He is the ultimate cool parent. So, I guess embarassing our kids is a rite of passage. I sort of enjoy it. As for the golf club guitar I just played on. And so did my kids-three miniature greens in front of me.

God-the ultimate party planner

As I prepare for my son's birthday in the midst of end of school activities, I am reminded of the slow, encroaching fear I will forget something really important to him! It comes from nowhere this fear, sweeping over me like a vulture taunting and laughing at me. I know it is the enemy but really he is very good at his job. I remembered this for me but forgot this for my son-what kind of a mom are you?
I could let this suck me in. Sometimes I do. Then, I remember. Make a list. Ask for some help. Oh, and pray! Then I have guilt for not thinking of God first! Yikes! Who made me a list maker? Who made me detailed oriented? Who is the best helper in the world? That would be God. Why do we so often times forget this? He is there waiting in the wings. We don't really need to ask; He knows what we need but He'd like to hear from us anyway. And, He will help us remember the little things, the big things and every thing inbetween.
Cookies and milk for class party? Check. Gifts purchased? Check. Card purchased? Check. Balloons ordered? Check. Cake picked up? Check. God as the ultimate party/life planner? Check!

Camp Time

Summer is fast approaching. Though many moms shirk from the thought and the eventual "I'm bored" summer can bring from the the offspring, I have found a large number of moms who look forward to summer. A slower pace and no school responsibilities fuel this opinion. Having the kids home is a challenge; none of these moms would argue that fact. What they would argue is summer is what we moms make it. After working in a few daycares before I had kids, I realized having a day somewhat like a daycare schedule kept things varied and fresh. Now that my kids are all in school, summer is when I put this plan into action. Time for crafts, some type of music-we really don't sing anymore; that would make me an even bigger embarassment than I all ready am-but listening to the radio or a tape or practicing piano works in my book, game time, reading together or reading together silently, etc.
I have a friend who does "camps" at home. Its cheaper she maintains and sending her kids away just doesn't register on her radar. I admire that. One of her camps is cooking. Sometimes the kids help her with the whole meal or just a simple batch of brownies but the point is she and her children are spending time together. They aren't stressed with running to several different activities and her kids are learning something useful. And, they all are actually having fun.
I have to admit I was a little skeptical. Trying this with my kids was not a trip down lollipop lane the first time. So, I scaled it back some to only making a simple batch of cookies. Hmm...better. The most memorable was making lasagna. We sort of had a revolving door policy that day. It worked well and I felt really good about it. And let's face it, we all need to feel like a good mom a lot more these days.
No matter what "camp" one chooses, (and there is nothing wrong with going away to camp just maybe not thirty in one summer), have fun spending time with your kiddos! That is the true meaning of summer and motherhood.

Mother's Day

As another Mother's Day is upon us, I stop to reflect all the Mother's Days in my past. Some were mine, some were my mother's, and some were my grandmothers'. Did they enjoy them? Was the hanging basket, robe or blouse really what they wanted? One Mother's Day really stands out to me and very well is the most memorable for my mom. While eating dinner out, my little brother had an explosive diaper. Luckily contained in his booster seat, my mom had smelled something and stuck her finger in his diaper to check. Why she did this I'm sure I don't understand but the result was not a good one for her. Hence I learned to never check a diaper that way.
I remember being so excited when my grandmothers' opened their presents from me especially the handmade ones. They always loved it and me and told me "thank you honey!" What I wouldn't give for one more Mother's Day with them. My grandmothers' were the best! They lived up to their names--Grand Mothers!
Then, I became a mom. Handmade cards and gifts and even a corsage! My husband faithfully went all the way home to get it for me to wear at church after I forgot it! A thirty minute round trip! What a trooper he was and still is! Though, I was sobbing and calling myself the worst mom ever for forgetting the little blue and green dyed thing! I still have my first real corsage from my first Mother's Day in our fridge. Yeah, scary.
Tomorrow, I will awaken to well wishes, hugs, gifts, cards, food and fun. This after always knowing I wanted to be a mom. I love my babies even though they are far from being babies anymore. Motherhood is a blessing-some days more than others-but always a blessing from the Father who made us and blessed us with motherhood.

Oceans

Just went to see "Oceans". Wow! Disney has done it again. True, I am prejudiced. I love all things good and Disney. And, I do wish Uncle Walt was my real uncle. I remember Sunday nights watching whatever really cool program or movie the Disney people felt so inclined to share with us. Their nature shows were some of my favorites. Not surprising then that "Oceans" leaves us with even more. Wow-again! Absolutely gorgoreous. Some of the most beautiful and graceful creatures God ever created we would have never seen if not for this movie. Who else could make a landscape so breathtaking underwater as well as above water than God? He is a true artist.
Touched on too was the pollution issues. A sea lion swam aound a shopping cart and garbage not knowing what to make of these alien objects in his environment. However, Pierce Brosnan countered, the oceans go on. Something to really ponder. Some call it a hole in our ozone. Some talk about global warming. Others scoff. Yet, still here we are. And so is God.