When my husband is gone, things are a tad too stressful for me. Maybe its because he is so much help. Maybe its because he's such a nice person. Maybe, its all this and the fact that he sets such a Christ-like example that I am a better person when he is around. Hmmm...no maybe there-that is the reason.
My kids ask, "When is Dad gonna call tonight? When he does, I wanna tell him about my Math test. I wanna tell him about my whole day! I need his help with my Algebra." Because no one wants MY help with Algebra. My son sighed, " I just miss him..." Even the dog sleeps more when Dad is away.
There is an immeasurable sense of calm in our home when Dad is in it. Nothing really bothers Mr. "I am phlegmatic personified" so nothing really bothers me. Much. Things run smoother, little jobs are done sooner and even the food tastes better. I like to cook but he is the Seasoning Chef. I don't have to fool with the trash and dog duty is cut in half.
Maybe most importantly I have another adult to talk to. Its fun to talk to my best friend about my day and hear how his went. I like getting his opinion on a new outfit and love his support on something I've written. I appreciate his honesty in all things good, bad and ugly. Most-most of all, I miss him. I may be prejudiced, but he has beautiful eyes that smile at me, hands that are always reaching to hold mine and nice teeth. Wait, last comment made it sound like I was shopping for a horse. His smile lights up every corner of a room when a gloomy shadow has hung in it far too long. Yes, that's the sentiment I was looking for.
Welcome home honey-you have been sorely missed by the people who love you most!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Stay-at-Home Moms
When my husband and I decided I'd stay at home, I was relieved. I had never felt I'd aspired to my true calling professionally. In fact, the professional world seemed daunting. I knew I liked kids. So teaching seemed like a good idea. Then, I became interested in Speech Pathology. I learned I could be a "speech teacher" in the schools therefore still working with children. But a couple of hip replacements later, I decided I'd take my Journalism degree and run. I lacked confidence and computers seriously freaked me out. And what I really wanted to be was a Mom. I wanted to be a good Mom, raise my kids well and spend time with them.
I enjoyed my time at home. Only one person ever made me feel odd about staying home. Everyone else was supportive. I knew I had made the right decision for myself and my family. Now though, in the past eight months, I have had three people make comments to me. Maybe its because all of my kids are in school. I don't know; but they have made me feel guilty. With the economy the way it is maybe I should be working outside of the home. Many of my friends have gone back to work or school. I don't know about any other stay at home moms whose kids are all in school but I run all day. And, whether you have little ones still at home or not, you and I know we never stay home. I read on a billboard for a car ad, "Who was the idiot who coined the phrase, "Stay-at-home mom?" I remember laughing out loud in agreement.
I have prayed about what I should do. I feel like God is telling me to write. I'm enjoying it and learning alot of information thanks to many sources and my wonderful writing friend Amy! This is no instant paycheck but I feel good about it. I have my insecurities and get overwhelmed with all the information out there but I have to start somewhere!
To all you moms out there who work outside the home-you are doing great! Hang in there because I don't know how you do it! To all you stay at home moms who never stay at home-you are doing great too! I don't know how we all do it some days. Hanging on to the One who never lets go is a blessed way to start!
I enjoyed my time at home. Only one person ever made me feel odd about staying home. Everyone else was supportive. I knew I had made the right decision for myself and my family. Now though, in the past eight months, I have had three people make comments to me. Maybe its because all of my kids are in school. I don't know; but they have made me feel guilty. With the economy the way it is maybe I should be working outside of the home. Many of my friends have gone back to work or school. I don't know about any other stay at home moms whose kids are all in school but I run all day. And, whether you have little ones still at home or not, you and I know we never stay home. I read on a billboard for a car ad, "Who was the idiot who coined the phrase, "Stay-at-home mom?" I remember laughing out loud in agreement.
I have prayed about what I should do. I feel like God is telling me to write. I'm enjoying it and learning alot of information thanks to many sources and my wonderful writing friend Amy! This is no instant paycheck but I feel good about it. I have my insecurities and get overwhelmed with all the information out there but I have to start somewhere!
To all you moms out there who work outside the home-you are doing great! Hang in there because I don't know how you do it! To all you stay at home moms who never stay at home-you are doing great too! I don't know how we all do it some days. Hanging on to the One who never lets go is a blessed way to start!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Playtime for our kids-no matter their age
Crispies. Overstimulated children. Hover parents. These are just a few labels our generations has been given and phrases of which we have been charged. Are we really that bad? It seems we could be. And not just us but others who spend time with our children might be responsible too. I recently read in Time that play dates have lessened and homework has increased. This fact did not surprise me. Last year, my daughter spent four-and sometimes more-hours in her room doing homework. When I asked her teachers if there was a problem, for example a learning disability we had missed, I was told my daughter was a perfectionist. Well, that is true. However, when several other parents asked me about her homework load and I found their kids had the same amount of work as she did, I was more than a little annoyed with her teachers.
Now, for the record, I expect my kids to have homework, projects and tests to study for. But the amount is on overload especially when half of it is nothing more than busy work. I don't think I'm in the minority when I mention family time is just as important, if not more so, than school work. The Time article also mentioned college deans call freshmen "crispies" because they are burnt out from all their past school work. Yikes! I don't want my kids to be called "crispy" by anyone. Yuck!
Now, what about over stimulation? Our kids are in two or so activities during the year. We aren't that athletic of a family but God has blessed us with other talents. My son, who is still a little guy, does enjoy sports more than our girls and may be more of a ball player. But, how many of us know friends who run all the time ? Do you ever look at someone else's life and wonder what it would be like to live it? Do they hope for sick days? I don't mean to sound judgemental, but I don't think I'm the only one to ponder these questions.
The term "hover parents" was not in the Time article. I did however, hear a speaker use it. Her comment was that the tall slides of our childhood are gone from playgrounds and have been replaced by medium to low height ones with cages over the top half of them. Sure, no one will fall off the side but part of the thrill of a slide that reached to the sun (in my opinion as a former child) was the thrill of knowing as you sped toward the ground you had cheated the perilous slide by not falling off the top! And, please note, I was far from being a thrill seeker when I was a kid. I was mostly scared of everything...wait...did I just admit to being a hover parent in the making?
Back to the Time article. One Mom spoke out after reading a news columnist had praised a family who took pictures of their children every morning before school to obtain a recent photo. Just in case they were abducted. The mother who spoke out was of course confronted. She said she took a deep breath and defended herself. While she agreed with car seat safety and a lot of other programs to teach our children various important facts, she felt we were a generation in overkill. I have to agree with her. However, this is coming from a mother whose daughter was lost for five minutes. Five minutes of never knowing such stomach-dropped-out-of-my-body fear. I cannot imagine going through that type of fear for five hours. Five days. Weeks. And many people have. I remember my husband's face and demeanor. He was trying to be strong and proactive. But he was scared beyond belief too. The relief in finding her I cannot describe.
So, what do we do? There are a lot of things. Most importantly, I think we need to pray for wisdom. Just like Solomon. Guidance is good too. Lack of worry-there's a biggie to give over to Him. We want our children to enjoy the gifts and talents God has blessed them with. That's one of the reasons I've started writing again. I've been doing it since I was a child and never realized how much I missed it after I'd stopped until God reminded me, "Hey, this is the gift I gave you. Let's see what we can do with it." Time off here and there is a good thing. And not just for the kids. We parents enjoy time at home being a family. Working all this in isn't easy. So, go to God for management skills. He may tell you the same thing He told me, "This is a gift I gave you. Let's see what we can do with it!"
Now, for the record, I expect my kids to have homework, projects and tests to study for. But the amount is on overload especially when half of it is nothing more than busy work. I don't think I'm in the minority when I mention family time is just as important, if not more so, than school work. The Time article also mentioned college deans call freshmen "crispies" because they are burnt out from all their past school work. Yikes! I don't want my kids to be called "crispy" by anyone. Yuck!
Now, what about over stimulation? Our kids are in two or so activities during the year. We aren't that athletic of a family but God has blessed us with other talents. My son, who is still a little guy, does enjoy sports more than our girls and may be more of a ball player. But, how many of us know friends who run all the time ? Do you ever look at someone else's life and wonder what it would be like to live it? Do they hope for sick days? I don't mean to sound judgemental, but I don't think I'm the only one to ponder these questions.
The term "hover parents" was not in the Time article. I did however, hear a speaker use it. Her comment was that the tall slides of our childhood are gone from playgrounds and have been replaced by medium to low height ones with cages over the top half of them. Sure, no one will fall off the side but part of the thrill of a slide that reached to the sun (in my opinion as a former child) was the thrill of knowing as you sped toward the ground you had cheated the perilous slide by not falling off the top! And, please note, I was far from being a thrill seeker when I was a kid. I was mostly scared of everything...wait...did I just admit to being a hover parent in the making?
Back to the Time article. One Mom spoke out after reading a news columnist had praised a family who took pictures of their children every morning before school to obtain a recent photo. Just in case they were abducted. The mother who spoke out was of course confronted. She said she took a deep breath and defended herself. While she agreed with car seat safety and a lot of other programs to teach our children various important facts, she felt we were a generation in overkill. I have to agree with her. However, this is coming from a mother whose daughter was lost for five minutes. Five minutes of never knowing such stomach-dropped-out-of-my-body fear. I cannot imagine going through that type of fear for five hours. Five days. Weeks. And many people have. I remember my husband's face and demeanor. He was trying to be strong and proactive. But he was scared beyond belief too. The relief in finding her I cannot describe.
So, what do we do? There are a lot of things. Most importantly, I think we need to pray for wisdom. Just like Solomon. Guidance is good too. Lack of worry-there's a biggie to give over to Him. We want our children to enjoy the gifts and talents God has blessed them with. That's one of the reasons I've started writing again. I've been doing it since I was a child and never realized how much I missed it after I'd stopped until God reminded me, "Hey, this is the gift I gave you. Let's see what we can do with it." Time off here and there is a good thing. And not just for the kids. We parents enjoy time at home being a family. Working all this in isn't easy. So, go to God for management skills. He may tell you the same thing He told me, "This is a gift I gave you. Let's see what we can do with it!"
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Weight (God help me) Loss
Yesterday I went to my weekly weight loss meeting and one of the women had met her goal. When our leader asked her how she did it, she said,"Well, first of all I have to thank God for giving me the determination to stick with it!" I was pleasantly surprised to hear someone give a shout out to God in public! I wish we could all do that more (myself included.) Why do we shy away from sharing God's message or even just His name to complete strangers in public? Or friends in the privacy of our home for that matter? I once told a friend I didn't want to look like a Jesus freak. Her response? If I'm going to be a freak for someone, Jesus is the best person to be a freak over! How true!
Now, onto the weight loss. Slow goin' for me here-would love to speed that one up. I noticed on the Oscars how emaciated most of the women were looking. Wow. I mean, God made our bodies to need nourishment. Obviously not chocolate and chips nourishment. Personally, I struggle with vegetables but everything else-I'm good. And of course there's always the comment what are we teaching our daughters or what is the media putting on them to look beautiful? How about looking healthy? I lead a Young Women's group with a friend at church and we have mentioned this somewhat. I told them-Eat. God wants it that way and your bodies need food/energy/etc.!
So, on I go. Struggle with the weight loss. Struggle with witnessing about my Savior. At least I know He's right there in the struggle with me!
Now, onto the weight loss. Slow goin' for me here-would love to speed that one up. I noticed on the Oscars how emaciated most of the women were looking. Wow. I mean, God made our bodies to need nourishment. Obviously not chocolate and chips nourishment. Personally, I struggle with vegetables but everything else-I'm good. And of course there's always the comment what are we teaching our daughters or what is the media putting on them to look beautiful? How about looking healthy? I lead a Young Women's group with a friend at church and we have mentioned this somewhat. I told them-Eat. God wants it that way and your bodies need food/energy/etc.!
So, on I go. Struggle with the weight loss. Struggle with witnessing about my Savior. At least I know He's right there in the struggle with me!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Has anyone ever said something thinking the listener already knows what you're talking about and then, to your horror, they have no idea? Or, maybe you mention a very positive thing to the doer of said thing and they ask how you knew? And you get the idea you weren't suppose to know? Yeah, I've done two of these "oopses" in the past two days. Two for two-goin' for the gold!
Yeah-can't tell you how bad I feel. Sort of not bad but low. Not even embarassed-worse than that. Not good. Guilty might be a better description. The only thing that lessens my guilt is that I didn't mean any harm. What a mess! How to handle this?
Prayer of course. Please don't let me be such an idiot is always a good place to start. Thank you for making silence a virtue-help me to remember that. I also remember all the scripture-well, not all but some-OK a few-about careful words. In James it goes something like this: With the same tongue we praise God and curse men. Little children this should not be so. Somewhere in Proverbs: Pleasant words are like honey to the soul. Proverbs: A slip of the foot one shall soon recover but a slip of the tongue...I'm paraphrasing folks-roll with me on this. Tho I meant no harm, I still hurt people or made them at the least uncomfortable.
Maybe praying for wisdom is the answer here. It worked for Solomon. And forgiveness-always need to pray for that. I'm just glad I have Someone to go to when I need/want to. And, believe me, I am one of God's neediest children. But, He's ok with that. He loves me anyway. Truly, awesome. Truly!
Yeah-can't tell you how bad I feel. Sort of not bad but low. Not even embarassed-worse than that. Not good. Guilty might be a better description. The only thing that lessens my guilt is that I didn't mean any harm. What a mess! How to handle this?
Prayer of course. Please don't let me be such an idiot is always a good place to start. Thank you for making silence a virtue-help me to remember that. I also remember all the scripture-well, not all but some-OK a few-about careful words. In James it goes something like this: With the same tongue we praise God and curse men. Little children this should not be so. Somewhere in Proverbs: Pleasant words are like honey to the soul. Proverbs: A slip of the foot one shall soon recover but a slip of the tongue...I'm paraphrasing folks-roll with me on this. Tho I meant no harm, I still hurt people or made them at the least uncomfortable.
Maybe praying for wisdom is the answer here. It worked for Solomon. And forgiveness-always need to pray for that. I'm just glad I have Someone to go to when I need/want to. And, believe me, I am one of God's neediest children. But, He's ok with that. He loves me anyway. Truly, awesome. Truly!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Well, I am now contemplating a very new area of my life. I think it's called "Maturity". I realize it is past time for me to talk over my worries with my mom and start being a part of her support system. I never understood how many things she has on her plate until recently. I think that is called "Immaturity". And let's not forget "Selfishness". "Inconsiderate"...Yikes, I could go on and on. Could I really have been that self-absorbed? Yes, I could.
So, tho I don't find myself in the position alot of us do, where we switch roles as parent and child, I do find myself in the role as friend. Can I be that non-judgemental friend my mother really needs? Not quick to give advice but to just listen? Well, Phillipians tells us "with God all things are possibe" so with a little maturity and a lot of help from the good Lord, maybe I just can.
So, tho I don't find myself in the position alot of us do, where we switch roles as parent and child, I do find myself in the role as friend. Can I be that non-judgemental friend my mother really needs? Not quick to give advice but to just listen? Well, Phillipians tells us "with God all things are possibe" so with a little maturity and a lot of help from the good Lord, maybe I just can.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Well, hello
Hello everyone out there in Bloggerland! I finally got up the courage to do this. I've entitled my blog, "Bethany's Day". I hope that doesn't make me sound like I am too full of myself. If so, then so be it! My "day" might not be too interesting but hopefully it will make someone smile or even laugh. And we all need to laugh a little more these days.
My day has been fairly productive writing-wise. Have edited an article I hope one day just may get published. I've been writing since I was a kid. I feel the nudge from the good Lord this is what I'm so suppose to do with the talent He's given me. I of course hope to someday be published but I realize I really enjoy doing this so if I don't get published, well, at least I'll be happy.
My day has been unproductive with our dog, Jersey. Beagle/Black Lab mix and for the life of me I cannot understand why, when I walk her she will not do her thing?! Honestly, how much fun is a full bladder (among other types of bathroom issues) and a life in her crate? Baffled! But blessed!
My day has been fairly productive writing-wise. Have edited an article I hope one day just may get published. I've been writing since I was a kid. I feel the nudge from the good Lord this is what I'm so suppose to do with the talent He's given me. I of course hope to someday be published but I realize I really enjoy doing this so if I don't get published, well, at least I'll be happy.
My day has been unproductive with our dog, Jersey. Beagle/Black Lab mix and for the life of me I cannot understand why, when I walk her she will not do her thing?! Honestly, how much fun is a full bladder (among other types of bathroom issues) and a life in her crate? Baffled! But blessed!
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