I saw the tail end of "It's A Wonderful Life" the other night. It really made me pause and think about everything. Not just my life, but a lot of things. Most of us are extremely blessed. At times we don't realize it but we are. Why is that ? Why does the "bad" stuff impact us more? Probably because it's bad. When life is good we pretty much take it for granted.
I try really hard to be positive. Since I used to be pretty negative. It's a habit I'm trying to kick. As I went through this holiday season I tried to stay upbeat and focus on the birth of Jesus. Though rushing around, I felt like I did a fairly decent job. While rushing, I noticed a "rash" on one of my daughters feet. Kept an eye on it for a few days and decided to take her in because it wasn't disappearing. The next thing I'm hearing is blood tests, platelet levels and chem 7's. I was terrified. So was my husband. I couldn't sleep. The next day while trying to return the nurse's phone call I was put on hold for ten minutes. I'm ashamed to admit I raged at God and told Him He was cruel. This after having a feeling He'd put on my heart that she'd be fine. Not the positive attitude I was going for.
Eventually, we made contact and all tests were normal. She is fine. I am so relieved I can't even cry. I'm not worried anymore about the fact that not one gift is wrapped. I'm not worried about our Christmas plans that seem to change every other day. Not worried. Just thankful. For my wonderful life given to me by my wonderful Father.
Friday, December 17, 2010
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