God's Plan

     I cannot believe it has been almost three months since I blogged.  Wow!  The reasons are many and a few of them are heart wrenching.
     My mom is going in for heart surgery tomorrow.  My father-in-law was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer the end of February.  He is not doing well.  My mother thinks my dad has had another stroke and he also suffers from Parkinson's.  My daughter's upcoming surgery in barreling down on us.  My husband has been traveling for work.  And I promise, I am not making this up. 
     I am trying hard to hand over things to God.  I can usually do it on a day-to-day basis.  Then, I take things back.  Sharing was never one of my strong suits.  I enjoy the acid bubbling in my stomach.  My esophagus hasn't clenched enough in the last month.  Being exhausted and worried are my hobbies.
     Most days I feel as though I am in a fog.  I try to concentrate on other issues.  I try even harder to focus on my kids and husband.  I find myself wanting to cry.  Then I realize I just don't have the time.
     I am amazed what does happen when I do have a good day in the Lord.  I go along without worrying and actually smile.  Sometimes I even hum.  I notice the road block in my mind that won't allow me to visit my ulcer producing concerns. 
     Talking with my mother-in-law helps me also.  She has such a fierce faith.  She questions and wonders like the rest of us.  God has this uncanny ability to send her people that show her His plan.  Or, a bolstering thought can occur to her straight from God.  She is strengthened and shares her insights with me.  I am stunned and strengthened too.
    Somewhere in the Bible God tells us He knows the plans He has for us, to help us to prosper, and to build us up. 
     Not to pull us down.  That is huge.  The right plan from the right Savior because He loves us.  Not to shabby of a calender when we wholeheartedly trust God to plan the events.