God's Daughters

     While reading through my facebook posts, I got an idea for my next blog.  So, thank you to the friend who posted another blog on the subject of girls own special brew of bullying.
     We hear more and more about this topic in the news.  In the news, for crying out loud?  That never happened when we were kids.  Welcome to the new form of bullying.
     Kids are committing suicide who are victims of bullying.  They are taking guns to school to "take care of the bullies".  We switched schools because one of our kids was being bullied.  Nearly every day our child came home and had been physically or verbally abused by the kids in her class.  The teacher and principal tried and sometimes things got better for awhile.  But you have to be consistent to keep the bullying at bay. 
     Both of my sisters are teachers and I asked them about it.  One of them said when parents come to her and ask if they should talk to the parents of the bully, she discourages them.  She tell them it's her job to take care of it.  Parents talking to parents usually ends in one of two messages.  "I know and I don't know what to do about it" or the ever popular "Not my kid!" 
     I asked a friend who is also a teacher about a conclusion I had come to.  Everyone bullies and everyone gets bullied.  She agreed.  We also both agreed some kids get bullied worse than others due to size, height, clothing, etc.  The list can be endless.  And some kids do it as a form of fighting back.
     I've heard authors who have written books about girls bullying.  One author said, "Men need women for intimacy. Women need women for companionship.  Sometimes almost a second mother relationship can develop. A new woman comes in between two good friends and look out".  Let's face the fact, girls are nasty.  And unfortunately, it doesn't go away when we turn eighteen.  Women are excruciatingly mean to one another.  Whether we gossip or exclude, we bully with finesse.  We have had years of practice to hone our skills.
     I once watched an Oprah episode where a young woman came on the show and apologized to the other woman she had picked on in grade school.  She cried through the whole interview.  She admitted that she bullied because her parents were going through a terrible divorce and she had become the invisible child.  She preyed on other kids to make them hurt as much as she did.   She also admitted she got a rush at having power over these kids.  Wow.
     There are so many hurting people in the world.  It is doubly sad to me when the hurting one is a child.  I wanted to hug this poor woman.  It isn't easy to want to hug a bully, especially when they are picking on your child, but they need it.  I've talked to several counselors about this subject.  They agreed a child who bullies is hurting and feeling powerless.
     We are all God's daughters.  That makes us so special.  As adults, we have a responsibility to include the stranger in our mist.  Whether it is a committee or Bible study.  We set the example. 
     We also have to keep our eyes open.  Know of a hurting child?  Invite them over and do something special with them.  Or do an one-on-one activity they might enjoy.  Invite them to church.  Or a church activity.  No excuses, you organize  your grocery list.  You can do this.
     Is it easy to have the child who has bullied your child in your home?  I've done it.  The experience proved extremely interesting.  Pray for the bully.  Is this easy?  What do you think?  You're so angry that this kid left bruises on your baby you could spit, yet you know this kid is hurting.  Besides the fact you are a Christian.  And sometimes, let's face it, you don't care.
     What about God?  These girls are your sisters in Christ.  They are crying out.  So are you.  You may be afraid to send your child to school.  The only One who can put your mind at ease, take your anger away and give you peace is reaching out to you.  You can cry on His shoulder.  You can rant your anger away.  He already knows what you are going through.  He's God.  You are His daughter.  And so are they.

God's Circus

     I relish the time when my grade schooler comes home.  We snuggle and watch my child's  favorite program.  We have a snack and we talk about the day.  Then we do any homework that is due.  It is a special time to say hello again after a long school day. 
    And then...
    My middle school and high school kids arrive.
    True, they are older and the hormones are raging.  But usually they come home in good moods.  I'm just as happy to see them. I know what's coming, though.  The twisting in my stomach as they outline the homework, projects, quizzes and test that are barreling down on us. 
     This year is busier than past years.  We are swimming two days a week.  In other words, we joined the swim team.  It's a great program and you pick what meets to compete in.  Here's the thing-you have to practice.  It's an almost half an hour commute.  One way.  And that's to the closest pool. 
     I signed my kids up hoping this might be the magical sport.  Let's face it, sports are big nowadays.  So, I hoped this one would be theirs.  I forgot one important thing.  Mid-week we have confirmation classes.  Yeah, I know.  Who's this Christian mom whose blog you're reading?  Throw in some time with a tutor, and that's four nights a week of activities.  Yikes.
     Oh, I know.  Many of you are wondering where I got my mom stripes?  You go seven nights a week.  Plus some.  I'm a wimp compared to you.  But as we run and I shift into super-mom speed, (I do not wear tights.  They've itched me to death since I was young.  And capes are dangerous.  My reasoning?  Just watch The Incredibles.) I begin to forget my name. 
     Throw in my husband not answering his cell phone as we juggle our kitchen redo, and the other night, I seriously thought I was having a nervous breakdown.  On this particular night I'd found out my middles schooler had had no study hall and was hit with tons of homework plus a test.  Swimming wouldn't work for her.  A meet was scheduled for us for Saturday.  Who needs to practice for that, right?
     I went to swimming grumbling.  I might have prayed, I honestly don't remember.  I explained my child's absence to our coach.  She looked up what events my kids were in.  Guess what?  My kiddoes weren't registered for the meet.  I promise I am not making this up.
     I sat down next to a good, good friend and poured out my heart.  I don't like to complain, even to my friends, but doggone it, I am good at it.  She listened wholeheartedly.  Then she told me how her evenings go.  Wait for it...they sounded vaguely familiar!
     What was that about?  I'm not the only one who suffers, and I mean suffers, like this?  I'm not alone?  I thought God had renamed me "Job".  He hasn't? 
     Can I tell you the load this awesome friend lifted off me?  I was reminded of what I'd promised myself.  School comes first.  Any swim practices we make are great exercise.  The looming meet that wasn't was really going to be a long trip.  Instead, we had a great relaxing weekend and got a lot of stuff done.   Thank you,
 Jesus!
     Here's what God reminded me of.  I am not alone.  The enemy may like to trick all of us into believing that.  Listen up, it's a lie.  Almost every mom has gone through something similiar, if not gone through exactly what I/you have.  We just have to reach out to each other. 
     That's why Jesus gave us friends.  He had twelve awesome friends.  True, there's that whole Judas thing.  We forget it had been foretold for ages and somebody had to be the fall guy.  Jesus chose to die for us so we could live.  So Judas played his role. 
     The remaining eleven scattered. Peter denied Jesus three times.  They had to go through all the crummy stuff to come out on the better end.  Look at what awesome evangelists they turned into!  Don't think when they weren't freaked out and leaning on each other before Jesus appeared to them.  And I thought my day was a bad one!
     What did I learn?  The next time the big top gets pitched in my family room, I'm gonna pray, work really hard to turn it all over to God, and jump in the clown car with all my friends!
     We look so darn cute in our makeup and fabulous clown shoes!!!