Saturday, January 14, 2012

God's Daughters

     While reading through my facebook posts, I got an idea for my next blog.  So, thank you to the friend who posted another blog on the subject of girls own special brew of bullying.
     We hear more and more about this topic in the news.  In the news, for crying out loud?  That never happened when we were kids.  Welcome to the new form of bullying.
     Kids are committing suicide who are victims of bullying.  They are taking guns to school to "take care of the bullies".  We switched schools because one of our kids was being bullied.  Nearly every day our child came home and had been physically or verbally abused by the kids in her class.  The teacher and principal tried and sometimes things got better for awhile.  But you have to be consistent to keep the bullying at bay. 
     Both of my sisters are teachers and I asked them about it.  One of them said when parents come to her and ask if they should talk to the parents of the bully, she discourages them.  She tell them it's her job to take care of it.  Parents talking to parents usually ends in one of two messages.  "I know and I don't know what to do about it" or the ever popular "Not my kid!" 
     I asked a friend who is also a teacher about a conclusion I had come to.  Everyone bullies and everyone gets bullied.  She agreed.  We also both agreed some kids get bullied worse than others due to size, height, clothing, etc.  The list can be endless.  And some kids do it as a form of fighting back.
     I've heard authors who have written books about girls bullying.  One author said, "Men need women for intimacy. Women need women for companionship.  Sometimes almost a second mother relationship can develop. A new woman comes in between two good friends and look out".  Let's face the fact, girls are nasty.  And unfortunately, it doesn't go away when we turn eighteen.  Women are excruciatingly mean to one another.  Whether we gossip or exclude, we bully with finesse.  We have had years of practice to hone our skills.
     I once watched an Oprah episode where a young woman came on the show and apologized to the other woman she had picked on in grade school.  She cried through the whole interview.  She admitted that she bullied because her parents were going through a terrible divorce and she had become the invisible child.  She preyed on other kids to make them hurt as much as she did.   She also admitted she got a rush at having power over these kids.  Wow.
     There are so many hurting people in the world.  It is doubly sad to me when the hurting one is a child.  I wanted to hug this poor woman.  It isn't easy to want to hug a bully, especially when they are picking on your child, but they need it.  I've talked to several counselors about this subject.  They agreed a child who bullies is hurting and feeling powerless.
     We are all God's daughters.  That makes us so special.  As adults, we have a responsibility to include the stranger in our mist.  Whether it is a committee or Bible study.  We set the example. 
     We also have to keep our eyes open.  Know of a hurting child?  Invite them over and do something special with them.  Or do an one-on-one activity they might enjoy.  Invite them to church.  Or a church activity.  No excuses, you organize  your grocery list.  You can do this.
     Is it easy to have the child who has bullied your child in your home?  I've done it.  The experience proved extremely interesting.  Pray for the bully.  Is this easy?  What do you think?  You're so angry that this kid left bruises on your baby you could spit, yet you know this kid is hurting.  Besides the fact you are a Christian.  And sometimes, let's face it, you don't care.
     What about God?  These girls are your sisters in Christ.  They are crying out.  So are you.  You may be afraid to send your child to school.  The only One who can put your mind at ease, take your anger away and give you peace is reaching out to you.  You can cry on His shoulder.  You can rant your anger away.  He already knows what you are going through.  He's God.  You are His daughter.  And so are they.

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