God's Healing

     I sit here typing a somewhat new woman.  I have to share a secret with you.  For the past few months, I have been trudging through my days.  I have done only what was necessary to keep up appearances to my family and friends. When people have asked, "How are you doing, really?"  I answered them with a smile and a "I'm fine."
     I'm a pretty good actress.  I wasn't fooling my husband though, or my closer friends.  I had reached the point where procrastination had begun to bug me.  Clutter was everywhere.  I'd dropped the mask of super mom and grown grouchy with my family.
     Our summer wasn't the best.  Many of you know my father-in-law died of pancreatic cancer.  His life ended too quickly and eighteen days later, our daughter had back surgery. (I am still stalking the grumpy nurses.)  I attempted to make the summer fun for my kids.  I think I did an okay job of it.  Then, as school neared, my mother announced she needed to have a pacemaker installed.  She was my father's sole caregiver.  We had mentioned nursing home care, but who wants to do that, really?  Still, my siblings and I couldn't help like we had before, so the decision was made and my dad is now living in the nursing home.  Not fun for anyone.
     Has he adjusted well?  Those of you who know my dad know the answer to that one.  However, my mom is doing better because taking care of my dad was wearing her down.  With her heart problems, it wasn't a good situation.  And, the nursing home is less than five minutes away. She can go to visit whenever she chooses, and of course that is a few times daily.  Visiting my dad there was hard for me.  I realize it is for the best.  God led me to accept this.  Doesn't make it easy, however.
     So, the muck was there and I was wallowing in it.  I didn't even cry much; just wallowed.  I saw after a bit, that one can only do that for so long.  I didn't like who I had become. 
     At last I discovered what I needed.  I reached out to God.  I prayed.  Nothing fancy or flashy.  Nothing long or verbose.  I asked my Father for help.  I wondered how long I'd have to wait.  We hear a lot that God's timetable is not our own. 
     The next morning-BOOM-I awoke ready to go.  I actually did my to-do list.  I started exercising.  I asked friends to lunch.  (If I haven't asked you, I'll get there.  Don't worry.)  I got my Bible study underway and signed up for another one.  I'm going on a field trip Friday.
     I asked myself, "Why I didn't pray sooner?"  Maybe I needed some down time.  Maybe I needed to disconnect.  None of that is good because I always needed God.  Why do I always wait?  Haven't I learned my lesson? 
     The deal is, God is always there for me.  Even when I'm too numb to feel His love.  He must have a truck load of patience set aside for me.  His healing is unlike anything I have ever encountered.  Like a beloved blanket, it covers every corner of worry, depression, and upheaval.  It is a mighty gift.  I cherish it.  I know you do too.  Don't ever underestimate God's healing love for you.