I am feeling a bit lost. My father has had a stroke. Not a mini-stroke like he's been having for the past twelve years but a stroke in the cerebrum. He is now using a walker and when I talk to him on the phone he sounds like an old man. Not good. Scary. Not something I really want to face. I spoke to a friend who's mother isn't doing so well either. We are in very different places. This friend is ready to fight. I admire her spirit. I am coping by crying or sleeping. Shock is another word I'd use. Chocolate yet another favorite. Notice praying isn't making the cut.
I wouldn't say my father and I are particularly close. Yet, there were times if he hadn't been there for me, no one would have been. And he gave me strength when I needed it most. We are a lot a like with the same sarcastic humor. He hides his sensitivity and I wear mine like a badge of honor. His criticisms have given me the courage to fight injustice to children-my own, my friends and sometimes strangers. He has empowered me to tell it like it is.
I forget from time to time how deeply religious he is. He doesn't talk about it often. His God is personal and private to him. When he does talk about his faith, everyone sits up and listens. It is incredibly moving.
I'm trying to make my way back to that moving place. Get past the upset and find that place of prayer and faith. Feeling lost isn't where my Heavenly or earthly father wants me to be.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
God's Warrior
Until recently, I have never had much experience with arguing God's existence with people. However, that has now all changed. After a phone call from a family member I learned another family member had made some disparaging comments about God and His existence. It would appear this member does not believe anymore or believes but also in something else. (Yes, I was confused too.) He or she is an adult so what I tried to explain was this was their choice. Sometimes prayer is all we can offer. Shoving back doesn't always work. Especially if a lot of shoving has been done which is part of the case. I really didn't want to get involved. But, I took my own advice and prayed. I asked God to let me know what, if anything, I was supposed to do.
Amazingly enough, the "quote" popped up on my facebook. Prodding by God? So, I commented on it. Let's just say there were several comments after that by both parties and then some. The last comment was thoroughly confusing so I knew it was time to message this member of my familia. Nothing else has been exchanged.
Some said to delete this person. But, I'm not going to. I prayed for God's leading in this. And I felt it in a big, awesome way. The words I wrote were not my own, they were His. The leading I experienced was some of the strongest I have ever known. Perhaps the comments will make this beloved person consider their opinions. Perhaps not. Deleting someone from not only your facebook friends but your life closes a door that God has opened. I have a very strong perception that was not what God had in mind. I can tell you being on fire for God, being his soldier, warrior or whatever one calls it was more than interesting. It was life changing.
Amazingly enough, the "quote" popped up on my facebook. Prodding by God? So, I commented on it. Let's just say there were several comments after that by both parties and then some. The last comment was thoroughly confusing so I knew it was time to message this member of my familia. Nothing else has been exchanged.
Some said to delete this person. But, I'm not going to. I prayed for God's leading in this. And I felt it in a big, awesome way. The words I wrote were not my own, they were His. The leading I experienced was some of the strongest I have ever known. Perhaps the comments will make this beloved person consider their opinions. Perhaps not. Deleting someone from not only your facebook friends but your life closes a door that God has opened. I have a very strong perception that was not what God had in mind. I can tell you being on fire for God, being his soldier, warrior or whatever one calls it was more than interesting. It was life changing.
Monday, January 17, 2011
God's Children
This weekend my family and I went to a very special presentation. It was High School Musical 2 Jr. and was put on by children who attend Easter Seals. I'm not sure if anyone with special needs can participate or how it works exactly but it was awesome.
These children shone as the lights came up and the music began. I could say it was awe inspiring. I could say I can't believe they did so well. But why? Disabilities are all in the mind. We all have our talents. They are also known as our gifts from God.
Children shouldn't hear "can't". They should be applauded for their efforts, not their outcomes. "Try again" and "You can do it!" resonate. We all need that positive mode of thinking. Not everyone is an artist or athlete. Some of us excel in academics. Or in any of the hundreds of activites that are out there.
One of my children was at Easter Seals for physical therapy for about eight months. I encouraged joining this group for next year's performance. Though I received an, "I dunno," I'm hopeful. I'm also proud of all the accomplishments our child has acheived. Whether taking the stage is in the future or not, I am blessed by the blessing of my children and every child in the world.
These children shone as the lights came up and the music began. I could say it was awe inspiring. I could say I can't believe they did so well. But why? Disabilities are all in the mind. We all have our talents. They are also known as our gifts from God.
Children shouldn't hear "can't". They should be applauded for their efforts, not their outcomes. "Try again" and "You can do it!" resonate. We all need that positive mode of thinking. Not everyone is an artist or athlete. Some of us excel in academics. Or in any of the hundreds of activites that are out there.
One of my children was at Easter Seals for physical therapy for about eight months. I encouraged joining this group for next year's performance. Though I received an, "I dunno," I'm hopeful. I'm also proud of all the accomplishments our child has acheived. Whether taking the stage is in the future or not, I am blessed by the blessing of my children and every child in the world.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
God's Walk
As we approach Right to Life Weekend, I'm again like everyone else, bombarded by all different aspects of the arena. No matter where our stance falls, I'm reminded of an article I read in my college's newspaper in the fall of my freshman year.
It was a feature article. The girl who wrote it was commenting on where would Jesus be if He walked the earth today? What would He be doing? Her answers got my attention. They are as follows: Jesus would be at the homeless shelters handing out blankets, (and in my opinion He'd be making sure everyone had a cot), He'd be at the soup kitchens serving food to the hungry and He'd be waiting for women coming out of the abortion clinics. I'd like to take this last comment a step further.
Jesus would also take these women in His arms and tell them He loved them and forgave them. Because that is what I believe Jesus is: forgiveness and love. I'm also reminded that judging people is God's job, not anyone else's. With so many people and such a broad spectrum of feelings on this topic, I think these three components-forgiveness, love and a non-judgemental attitude-are the final sticking points.
It was a feature article. The girl who wrote it was commenting on where would Jesus be if He walked the earth today? What would He be doing? Her answers got my attention. They are as follows: Jesus would be at the homeless shelters handing out blankets, (and in my opinion He'd be making sure everyone had a cot), He'd be at the soup kitchens serving food to the hungry and He'd be waiting for women coming out of the abortion clinics. I'd like to take this last comment a step further.
Jesus would also take these women in His arms and tell them He loved them and forgave them. Because that is what I believe Jesus is: forgiveness and love. I'm also reminded that judging people is God's job, not anyone else's. With so many people and such a broad spectrum of feelings on this topic, I think these three components-forgiveness, love and a non-judgemental attitude-are the final sticking points.
Monday, January 10, 2011
God's Witness
Today while driving to the gym (yes, I'm still going), I drove past a truck with a white cross hanging in the window. It reminded me of a couple of stories my father-in-law had told me.
One day he was on his way to give a nursing home service. He stopped to get gas. While paying the attendant mentioned, "I've never seen anyone wear three crosses before." He laughed a little as he realized he was wearing a necklace, ring and tie tack all bearing reminders of Jesus' greatest sacrifice and gift to us.
Another time while in flight for vacation a man noticed his cross necklace. He began talking to my dad-in-law about his vocation, belief system and overall God issues. It was a great conversation; but isn't it always when we witness?
I admit it's hard to witness. We may feel the nudge from God but do we follow it? I once confessed to a friend, "I don't want to look like a Jesus freak." She countered, "Yeah, I used to feel that way. If I'm going to be a freak though, I may as well be one for Jesus. Best type of freak to be." Good point.
I pray a lot for the right words to say when the nudge hits me. Most of the time I'm not witnessing to a stranger. I'm reminding my kids or friends or sister of a Jesus thing. Or, I just tell them I'm praying for you. Then, there's this crazy blog thing I do...
I think about my father-in-law. He's a retired pastor now, however he still fills in where and when needed. An added bonus is he also plays a mean organ. So he can take his pastoral/organist show on the road as he's called to do. He's also someone I can contact when I have a question or am gearing up to lead a Bible study and need some clarity. As I pick out my jewelry for the day, I almost always grab one of my cross necklaces. My father-in-law's wordless witness and conversation starters are a huge reminder of what type of Christian I want to be.
One day he was on his way to give a nursing home service. He stopped to get gas. While paying the attendant mentioned, "I've never seen anyone wear three crosses before." He laughed a little as he realized he was wearing a necklace, ring and tie tack all bearing reminders of Jesus' greatest sacrifice and gift to us.
Another time while in flight for vacation a man noticed his cross necklace. He began talking to my dad-in-law about his vocation, belief system and overall God issues. It was a great conversation; but isn't it always when we witness?
I admit it's hard to witness. We may feel the nudge from God but do we follow it? I once confessed to a friend, "I don't want to look like a Jesus freak." She countered, "Yeah, I used to feel that way. If I'm going to be a freak though, I may as well be one for Jesus. Best type of freak to be." Good point.
I pray a lot for the right words to say when the nudge hits me. Most of the time I'm not witnessing to a stranger. I'm reminding my kids or friends or sister of a Jesus thing. Or, I just tell them I'm praying for you. Then, there's this crazy blog thing I do...
I think about my father-in-law. He's a retired pastor now, however he still fills in where and when needed. An added bonus is he also plays a mean organ. So he can take his pastoral/organist show on the road as he's called to do. He's also someone I can contact when I have a question or am gearing up to lead a Bible study and need some clarity. As I pick out my jewelry for the day, I almost always grab one of my cross necklaces. My father-in-law's wordless witness and conversation starters are a huge reminder of what type of Christian I want to be.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
God's Work Out
Does anyone else have a problem with saying twenty-eleven? My husband corrected me when I said two thousand eleven. Whatever you call it, for some of us it is New Year's Resolution time. I haven't made any, but last September I started working out. I took my husband with me so I didn't break anything or hurt myself.
It wasn't as bad as I imagined but I made my husband try everything first so I didn't look like an idiot getting on or off or setting the machines. It went pretty well except I almost slipped off one deal where you had to lie on your stomach and with my slicky pants, it wasn't working.
Then there was one machine I only have ever seen Marines work out on. But there it was. In our gym. I mean, people older than my parents exercise there. So I tried it. It's the one where you sit and reach up and pull the trapeze thingy down. I told my husband to stay next to me. He didn't of course and the next thing I knew, I was airborne. I didn't want to scream but I am a little scared of heights. My hubby rescued me of course like he often times does. He's always watching, just from a distance.
I keep going about two times a week and try to make it three. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. What I find remarkable is the devotion some of these people have to well, basically killing themselves. And, I'm sure you know where I'm going with this.
What if we all had the same devotion to our prayer life? Or reading our Bibles? Or keeping up with our Bible studies? Or going to church regularly? Or trusting God more and more and more? Now there's a New Year's Resolution we could all sink our teeth into!
It wasn't as bad as I imagined but I made my husband try everything first so I didn't look like an idiot getting on or off or setting the machines. It went pretty well except I almost slipped off one deal where you had to lie on your stomach and with my slicky pants, it wasn't working.
Then there was one machine I only have ever seen Marines work out on. But there it was. In our gym. I mean, people older than my parents exercise there. So I tried it. It's the one where you sit and reach up and pull the trapeze thingy down. I told my husband to stay next to me. He didn't of course and the next thing I knew, I was airborne. I didn't want to scream but I am a little scared of heights. My hubby rescued me of course like he often times does. He's always watching, just from a distance.
I keep going about two times a week and try to make it three. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. What I find remarkable is the devotion some of these people have to well, basically killing themselves. And, I'm sure you know where I'm going with this.
What if we all had the same devotion to our prayer life? Or reading our Bibles? Or keeping up with our Bible studies? Or going to church regularly? Or trusting God more and more and more? Now there's a New Year's Resolution we could all sink our teeth into!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
God's New Year
Is Christmas really over? Did we really keep our hearts in the right place? Admist the running, shopping, wrapping and baking? Did we really remember our Lord and Savior's birthday? In our own ways I think we did. Maybe it wasn't God's way but hopefully it came close.
And now, here we are in another New Year. As our pastor mentioned, some of us may be glad to see 2010 go. Others may be sad to see it end worrying about the next year and what is to come. With God's peace, our pastor reminded, we have all good things. I've had that peace at times but sadly, let it go more times than I'd like to count.
It's in our human nature to try to run things ourselves. Sure, we can take on another committee. Sure, we can juggle five more activities. Sure, we can. I'm sure about only one thing. We can count on God to let us know when and if we really can. He's going to point us in the direction we should go. And we may never see His plan(s) for us coming.
With God at the healm, we have peace. Everything falls into place for us. We say "no" when we should and "yes" when we can. We don't have those early morning anxiety attacks we've gotten so used to. The acid in our stomachs doesn't rise to unwavering levels of taste testing. We may still worry some but God's simple reminder is a good one: the peace that passes all understanding. Look into it, it's an awesome gift to open any time of the year.
And now, here we are in another New Year. As our pastor mentioned, some of us may be glad to see 2010 go. Others may be sad to see it end worrying about the next year and what is to come. With God's peace, our pastor reminded, we have all good things. I've had that peace at times but sadly, let it go more times than I'd like to count.
It's in our human nature to try to run things ourselves. Sure, we can take on another committee. Sure, we can juggle five more activities. Sure, we can. I'm sure about only one thing. We can count on God to let us know when and if we really can. He's going to point us in the direction we should go. And we may never see His plan(s) for us coming.
With God at the healm, we have peace. Everything falls into place for us. We say "no" when we should and "yes" when we can. We don't have those early morning anxiety attacks we've gotten so used to. The acid in our stomachs doesn't rise to unwavering levels of taste testing. We may still worry some but God's simple reminder is a good one: the peace that passes all understanding. Look into it, it's an awesome gift to open any time of the year.
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