Another Father's Day is fast approaching. It takes me back to the Father's Days when I was a kid. My grandparents coming over. Cooking out. Laughter. I often wondered how they liked their gifts. Even as a kid I wondered, "Does Grandpa really like that shirt, wallet, jacket, etc.?" They always acted sort of grateful. Even my Dad would try to rally. My Mom would work hard to be original. She'd buy him new grill utensils, tools, that type of thing. He was never overly excited or surprised but did always thank her and us.
Now, I'm the Mom. I have to try to come up with gifts for our dads and my husband. Who is by the way a terrific Dad. I just ask him. This year he said he'd take a new washer. Probably because we had to buy one a week ago. Sigh. He'd given me such a nice Mother's Day I wanted to do an awesome job for him too.
My kids had no ideas. They really weren't in the mood to make anything like we did last year. So...I asked my husband again. And again he mentioned the washer. Aaahhh!!! Then I got a 30% off coupon to one of my favorite stores. I bought him the old stand by. Clothes he really needed. At least in my opinion. Then something he'll really like-an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen. Chocolate of course. I only need to get one more gift he actually did mention. That was before the whole dishwasher mess. I'm feeling pretty good where he is concerned.
Now, for our Dads. Not easy. Grandpa cards for sure. They get a bigger kick out of those than the dad cards they've been getting for over forty years. But gifts? I sent them money. My dad feels this is impersonal but I'm at a loss here. Then, I started thinking about my friends whose dads have a new home . In Heaven. I grew up with some of their dads. They were wonderful gentlemen. As I was worrying about gifts I paused to think about them and their kids. I know what they'd like for Father's Day. To have one more day, Father's Day or not, with their dads. It pulled me up short and put the whole gift dilemma into prospective. I know how much I miss my grandfathers. To wrap my mind around the fact that one day our fathers will not be here seems too much to grasp. Maybe the happiest thing about Father's Day is being thankful God has given us one more with our dads. And to be happy we have a heavenly Father who when our earthly fathers are human is always there for us. No matter what. Happy Father's Day indeed!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
Clinging to the Vorpal Sword
Well, I'm back in blogworld. Why was I MIA? I'm trying to write a book. I have an appointment with a publisher the end of July. Yes, I am freaking out. So much so my stomach bubbles and I can't eat. I'm scared I won't get done and scared I will. Everyone out there, please pray for me.
Last week when I was at my worst in this (feeling writing was taking away from my kids and my kids were taking away from my writing) it was a seriously dark day. I cried alot and talked to my hubby alot. Then finally, I talked to God. Yes, it's always good to make Him your last resource. The next morning I can't explain the peace I felt. My day fell into place. No matter what I was doing I had no guilt and no stress. No stomach bubbles either.
The next morning the kids were watching Alice in Wonderland. The new one that is out by Tim Burton. I love this movie. It had so many great lines in it. Among millions of other great things. So, on my way to write I thought I'd watch the "big scene". As I did I was transfixed. Tears rolled down my face as I finally realized the specialness of the message at least as it pertained to me.
I am Alice. I am full of doubt and indecision. The vorpal sword is God. Absalom the caterpillar told Alice, "The vorpal sword knows what it wants. You need only to hold onto it." God knows what He wants for us. We need only to hold onto His hand. We show our trust in Him by doing so. And sometimes, when things are bad we cling to both of them.
My book is not my own personal Jabberwocky. My fears and lack of trust in what God wants me to do are. So, what am I going to do? I'm going to let go of my fears-off with their heads" so to speak and all the Enemy has chosen to throw my way. They will come tumbling down these stone steps and they will die. What kept them vital will only make me stronger in knowing God triumphs over all our fears. He will lead me back to where I belong. Even if I let go, He never will.
Last week when I was at my worst in this (feeling writing was taking away from my kids and my kids were taking away from my writing) it was a seriously dark day. I cried alot and talked to my hubby alot. Then finally, I talked to God. Yes, it's always good to make Him your last resource. The next morning I can't explain the peace I felt. My day fell into place. No matter what I was doing I had no guilt and no stress. No stomach bubbles either.
The next morning the kids were watching Alice in Wonderland. The new one that is out by Tim Burton. I love this movie. It had so many great lines in it. Among millions of other great things. So, on my way to write I thought I'd watch the "big scene". As I did I was transfixed. Tears rolled down my face as I finally realized the specialness of the message at least as it pertained to me.
I am Alice. I am full of doubt and indecision. The vorpal sword is God. Absalom the caterpillar told Alice, "The vorpal sword knows what it wants. You need only to hold onto it." God knows what He wants for us. We need only to hold onto His hand. We show our trust in Him by doing so. And sometimes, when things are bad we cling to both of them.
My book is not my own personal Jabberwocky. My fears and lack of trust in what God wants me to do are. So, what am I going to do? I'm going to let go of my fears-off with their heads" so to speak and all the Enemy has chosen to throw my way. They will come tumbling down these stone steps and they will die. What kept them vital will only make me stronger in knowing God triumphs over all our fears. He will lead me back to where I belong. Even if I let go, He never will.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Isn't it interesting to have your child's friends stay over? I mean, a "sleep over". Remember when it was called a "slumber party" but no one slumbered?
What I've noticed is rules tend to fly out the window. Unless, one gets lucky and the child listens. More often then not though, out the window rules go. One child we recently had over not only didn't listen she/he didn't drink. Only ate a bare minimum. I was beginning to worry. I don't even know if this child used our bathroom. Great. Now I have that to vex me. I realize when at someone else's house it's hard to concentrate on eating. Kids are too excited to play with different stuff and spend time with their friends. But, do they never get hungry? Maybe they're just sneaking food when we aren't looking. Or when we are finally unconscious in our beds.
We want kids to have fun as guests in our homes. It's even nice to be known as the "Fun Mom or Dad". But when does a parent put down their foot? The obvious of course is bodily harm. Bullying is probably number two. Slamming of doors should be number three but may not make the cut every time. Usually I have found if I stand firm in our rules-shutting aforementioned window before havoc strikes-things go much smoother. Not always easier, but smoother. I also pick my battles and try to refrain from being "Frau Bethany".
Another interesting item I have learned is to have an extra activity on hand. This works well in case the familiar mantra of "What do you want to do? I don't know. What do you want to do?" surfaces. Sometimes just making a guest aware of the choices of activities is a good idea. Or asking the guest in question what they like to do. I usually go the craft route. "Do you like to paint?" Is a good opener. "Would you rather make something with clay/play doh" is helpful too.
I wonder if God ever feels this way? As a guest who is always welcome in our home does He witness His rules flying out the window? Does He worry about being "Fun Dad?" What does He feel if He hears from us "I dunno what I want to do today" when He has so clearly given us that answer but we don't listen?
He gently reminds us what it is we are looking for. And that would be Him. No yelling, no excuses. Just a reminder. His rules, His plans. Not always fun but always right. Keeping us safe and loving us no matter what we don't eat or try to fly over.
What I've noticed is rules tend to fly out the window. Unless, one gets lucky and the child listens. More often then not though, out the window rules go. One child we recently had over not only didn't listen she/he didn't drink. Only ate a bare minimum. I was beginning to worry. I don't even know if this child used our bathroom. Great. Now I have that to vex me. I realize when at someone else's house it's hard to concentrate on eating. Kids are too excited to play with different stuff and spend time with their friends. But, do they never get hungry? Maybe they're just sneaking food when we aren't looking. Or when we are finally unconscious in our beds.
We want kids to have fun as guests in our homes. It's even nice to be known as the "Fun Mom or Dad". But when does a parent put down their foot? The obvious of course is bodily harm. Bullying is probably number two. Slamming of doors should be number three but may not make the cut every time. Usually I have found if I stand firm in our rules-shutting aforementioned window before havoc strikes-things go much smoother. Not always easier, but smoother. I also pick my battles and try to refrain from being "Frau Bethany".
Another interesting item I have learned is to have an extra activity on hand. This works well in case the familiar mantra of "What do you want to do? I don't know. What do you want to do?" surfaces. Sometimes just making a guest aware of the choices of activities is a good idea. Or asking the guest in question what they like to do. I usually go the craft route. "Do you like to paint?" Is a good opener. "Would you rather make something with clay/play doh" is helpful too.
I wonder if God ever feels this way? As a guest who is always welcome in our home does He witness His rules flying out the window? Does He worry about being "Fun Dad?" What does He feel if He hears from us "I dunno what I want to do today" when He has so clearly given us that answer but we don't listen?
He gently reminds us what it is we are looking for. And that would be Him. No yelling, no excuses. Just a reminder. His rules, His plans. Not always fun but always right. Keeping us safe and loving us no matter what we don't eat or try to fly over.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
The Dearest of Friends
Friends. They come and they go, don't they? It surprises me what passes for friendship sometimes. Especially when friends go. My Mother once told me I'd only have a few really good friends in life. Once again I'm admitting she was correct. Scary.
One of my friends from third grade to present sent me an email about some people are friends for a season or for a reason, etc. It totally freaked me out! I hurriedly emailed her back to apologize for being a lazy correspondent but assured her I thought of her every day and to please not dump me as a friend. Her reply? Laughter! "Silly," she wrote, "it's just a poem. I'd never dump you. You are indeed a forever friend." Thank goodness! Or is it just because I know alot of dirt on her? Which is another thought to ponder. We as friends are huge secret keepers. And our friends are ours in return. And, let's face it, we know the good keepers of our inmost beings and the poor ones. Be a good keeper.
Nobody really has "the dirt" on anyone. Instead, I prefer to think of it this way. We have Jesus. The ultimate laundry guy. We're made new in Him. White as snow. He's also the best friend we can ever know. We've all called a friend really needing to talk when they just don't have the time. It's happened to us too. We hate to let people down but its reality. Funny how it never happens with Jesus. He's already there. He's never busy. And here is His one-of-a-kind friend factor...He already knows what we need before we say a word. Another bonus? After we pour out our hearts to Him, we feel so much better it amazes us again and again. Another? He keeps all our secrets and forgives us over and over.
I have had girlfriends turn on me. It happened when I was a child, a teen and an adult woman. I have wept over them and prayed for them. It hurts as much when it occurs to a child as it does to an adult. I've learned to be careful. Most importantly, I've learned when Jesus is my best friend, everything and everyone else falls into place. Friendship is a gift from God. Tend yours well. Along with your best buddy, they will all flourish.
One of my friends from third grade to present sent me an email about some people are friends for a season or for a reason, etc. It totally freaked me out! I hurriedly emailed her back to apologize for being a lazy correspondent but assured her I thought of her every day and to please not dump me as a friend. Her reply? Laughter! "Silly," she wrote, "it's just a poem. I'd never dump you. You are indeed a forever friend." Thank goodness! Or is it just because I know alot of dirt on her? Which is another thought to ponder. We as friends are huge secret keepers. And our friends are ours in return. And, let's face it, we know the good keepers of our inmost beings and the poor ones. Be a good keeper.
Nobody really has "the dirt" on anyone. Instead, I prefer to think of it this way. We have Jesus. The ultimate laundry guy. We're made new in Him. White as snow. He's also the best friend we can ever know. We've all called a friend really needing to talk when they just don't have the time. It's happened to us too. We hate to let people down but its reality. Funny how it never happens with Jesus. He's already there. He's never busy. And here is His one-of-a-kind friend factor...He already knows what we need before we say a word. Another bonus? After we pour out our hearts to Him, we feel so much better it amazes us again and again. Another? He keeps all our secrets and forgives us over and over.
I have had girlfriends turn on me. It happened when I was a child, a teen and an adult woman. I have wept over them and prayed for them. It hurts as much when it occurs to a child as it does to an adult. I've learned to be careful. Most importantly, I've learned when Jesus is my best friend, everything and everyone else falls into place. Friendship is a gift from God. Tend yours well. Along with your best buddy, they will all flourish.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Parents'-the Ultimate Embarassment
It is amazing to me what embarasses our kids these days. When I was a kid, it was black socks with sandals. Or, in my Dad's case, he'd mow the grass in his very own creation: cut-offs he himself cut off that looked more like gauchos then shorts, a headband, and cowboy boots. Then, he added a red and white checkered shirt for a trip to town. He never could understand why we were all really busy when he asked if we wanted to go to town with him. Thank God we lived in the country. As for my Mom she'd fix my hair or clothes in public. Or, comment on the dark circles under my eyes in front of really cool people. My mother-in-law once commented on my husband's toenail fungus to me. We were dating then and I could tell he wanted to crawl in the deepest hole available. I just hugged him and told him that only made him more real to me. Maybe that's one of the many reasons I married him-he was the real deal.
I don't know what my husband does to embarass my kids. They seem to think he's pretty groovey. As for me, today I played air guitar to a really cool Genesis song with my golf club while miniature golfing. My kids couldn't believe it. I heard stuff like, "Mom, please stop. You are really embarassing." My Mom was along and thought that the whole situation was hilarious. I thought I was being pretty cool to even think of it. My husband just shook his head.
One parent we never have to be embarassed about is God. Have you ever seen a sunset? He is the ultimate cool parent. So, I guess embarassing our kids is a rite of passage. I sort of enjoy it. As for the golf club guitar I just played on. And so did my kids-three miniature greens in front of me.
I don't know what my husband does to embarass my kids. They seem to think he's pretty groovey. As for me, today I played air guitar to a really cool Genesis song with my golf club while miniature golfing. My kids couldn't believe it. I heard stuff like, "Mom, please stop. You are really embarassing." My Mom was along and thought that the whole situation was hilarious. I thought I was being pretty cool to even think of it. My husband just shook his head.
One parent we never have to be embarassed about is God. Have you ever seen a sunset? He is the ultimate cool parent. So, I guess embarassing our kids is a rite of passage. I sort of enjoy it. As for the golf club guitar I just played on. And so did my kids-three miniature greens in front of me.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
God-the ultimate party planner
As I prepare for my son's birthday in the midst of end of school activities, I am reminded of the slow, encroaching fear I will forget something really important to him! It comes from nowhere this fear, sweeping over me like a vulture taunting and laughing at me. I know it is the enemy but really he is very good at his job. I remembered this for me but forgot this for my son-what kind of a mom are you?
I could let this suck me in. Sometimes I do. Then, I remember. Make a list. Ask for some help. Oh, and pray! Then I have guilt for not thinking of God first! Yikes! Who made me a list maker? Who made me detailed oriented? Who is the best helper in the world? That would be God. Why do we so often times forget this? He is there waiting in the wings. We don't really need to ask; He knows what we need but He'd like to hear from us anyway. And, He will help us remember the little things, the big things and every thing inbetween.
Cookies and milk for class party? Check. Gifts purchased? Check. Card purchased? Check. Balloons ordered? Check. Cake picked up? Check. God as the ultimate party/life planner? Check!
I could let this suck me in. Sometimes I do. Then, I remember. Make a list. Ask for some help. Oh, and pray! Then I have guilt for not thinking of God first! Yikes! Who made me a list maker? Who made me detailed oriented? Who is the best helper in the world? That would be God. Why do we so often times forget this? He is there waiting in the wings. We don't really need to ask; He knows what we need but He'd like to hear from us anyway. And, He will help us remember the little things, the big things and every thing inbetween.
Cookies and milk for class party? Check. Gifts purchased? Check. Card purchased? Check. Balloons ordered? Check. Cake picked up? Check. God as the ultimate party/life planner? Check!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Camp Time
Summer is fast approaching. Though many moms shirk from the thought and the eventual "I'm bored" summer can bring from the the offspring, I have found a large number of moms who look forward to summer. A slower pace and no school responsibilities fuel this opinion. Having the kids home is a challenge; none of these moms would argue that fact. What they would argue is summer is what we moms make it. After working in a few daycares before I had kids, I realized having a day somewhat like a daycare schedule kept things varied and fresh. Now that my kids are all in school, summer is when I put this plan into action. Time for crafts, some type of music-we really don't sing anymore; that would make me an even bigger embarassment than I all ready am-but listening to the radio or a tape or practicing piano works in my book, game time, reading together or reading together silently, etc.
I have a friend who does "camps" at home. Its cheaper she maintains and sending her kids away just doesn't register on her radar. I admire that. One of her camps is cooking. Sometimes the kids help her with the whole meal or just a simple batch of brownies but the point is she and her children are spending time together. They aren't stressed with running to several different activities and her kids are learning something useful. And, they all are actually having fun.
I have to admit I was a little skeptical. Trying this with my kids was not a trip down lollipop lane the first time. So, I scaled it back some to only making a simple batch of cookies. Hmm...better. The most memorable was making lasagna. We sort of had a revolving door policy that day. It worked well and I felt really good about it. And let's face it, we all need to feel like a good mom a lot more these days.
No matter what "camp" one chooses, (and there is nothing wrong with going away to camp just maybe not thirty in one summer), have fun spending time with your kiddos! That is the true meaning of summer and motherhood.
I have a friend who does "camps" at home. Its cheaper she maintains and sending her kids away just doesn't register on her radar. I admire that. One of her camps is cooking. Sometimes the kids help her with the whole meal or just a simple batch of brownies but the point is she and her children are spending time together. They aren't stressed with running to several different activities and her kids are learning something useful. And, they all are actually having fun.
I have to admit I was a little skeptical. Trying this with my kids was not a trip down lollipop lane the first time. So, I scaled it back some to only making a simple batch of cookies. Hmm...better. The most memorable was making lasagna. We sort of had a revolving door policy that day. It worked well and I felt really good about it. And let's face it, we all need to feel like a good mom a lot more these days.
No matter what "camp" one chooses, (and there is nothing wrong with going away to camp just maybe not thirty in one summer), have fun spending time with your kiddos! That is the true meaning of summer and motherhood.
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